Home > 37 Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes: Wit and Wisdom

37 Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes: Wit and Wisdom

Fran Lebowitz – an American author and a public speaker known for her witty remarks. Because of her distinctive perspective on life and society; she is a well-liked character.

Her unique ability to craft clever one-liners and humorous observations has earned her a devoted following.

Lebowitz’s essays and books, have been widely acclaimed. Her two most famous books: “Metropolitan Life” (1978) and “Social Studies” (1981), are collections of humorous essays that were critically acclaimed. These works have solidified her reputation as a gifted writer and humorist.

Whether you’re a writer or a shoemaker, she reminds us that quality is not optional but rather a necessity. It’s a reminder to put honesty and quality first in all we do. Here are some of the most well-known Fran Lebowitz quotes in this article.

Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Success didn’t spoil me; I’ve always been insufferable.


You’re only as good as your last haircut.

The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.


I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder when they reach adulthood?

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word ‘collectible’ as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

The outdoors is what you must pass through to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.


The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

As a teenager, you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.


Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.


There’s nothing like being old to be sure of everything.

Albert Einstein wasn’t getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

My favorite animal is steak.

That which we call civilization is merely the accumulated debris of a chilling number of bad nights.

A dog who thinks he is man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.


Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

I went to a Muhammad Ali fight at the Garden… It was a very wonderful fashion and cultural event. Unfortunately, there was a fight in the middle of it.

The best fame is a writer’s fame. It’s enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass.


I’m not a nervous person. I’m not afraid to be on TV. I’m only afraid when I write. When I’m at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.

The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.

Ever since I was a little child, I refused to see movies of books that I loved. Because you already know what Heidi looks like and she doesn’t look like Shirley Temple.

Disclaimer: All quotes/paragraphs credits goes to the respective writers/authors and full credits goes to them. We don’t own any copyrights we have curated from various sources.

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